Reap What You Sow
by Allaine

Chapter 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11 12  13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Chapter 6 


     Batman had learned that you could tell a lot about Selina’s mood from the sound of her footsteps when she made her way down the Batcave steps while in costume.  There was a light, almost jaunty quality to her step after a particularly good prowl, for example.

     What he heard behind him as he worked at the Batcomputer was NOT the happy clip clip after a good prowl.  It was the sound of a cat who’d been hissing and spitting at an interloper, if that cat happened to be wearing high heels on stone steps.  It was the sound, in other words, of someone who had a typical encounter with Poison Ivy.

     “I wouldn’t go near Pammy any time soon,” Selina said, validating his suspicion.

     “That bad?” he asked, turning around in his chair.

     “Yes – No,” she replied.  “’That bad’ implies the norm, just a typically infuriating encounter with the infuriating leaf bitch.  Learning a whole new trick ‘greening’ people she’s never been able to affect before, that falls into a whole new category.”

     Bruce scowled.  “How did this happen?” he asked darkly.  “Who did she green?”

     Selina didn’t look all that eager to tell her story as she leaned against a workstation.  “Well, you’re never going to believe this,” she said, “and if you do, you’ll like it even less than I do, but the person she greened… was me.”

     “Selina!” Ivy gasped as she clutched futilely at the arm around her throat.  “What - I don’t understand -”

     “I know you’re a pro when it comes to denial, Pammy,” Selina said icily, "but don’t try and deny what you just did to me.  One moment we’re arguing about Harley, and the next thing I know, I’m out on the pavement thinking what a wonderful conversationalist you are.  The only explanation I can come up with for such a patently ludicrous idea, not to mention having no memory of the past five minutes, is that you 'greened' me.”

     “What?!” Ivy yelped.

     “You didn’t like the way our talk was going, you didn’t like being told things you didn’t want to hear, so you turned me into your new best friend,” Selina continued.  “I have to admit, if I wasn’t so royally pissed at you right now I’d be a little impressed - all those years you pretended your powers didn’t work on women - ”

     “But they don’t!” Ivy insisted.  “Don’t you think I tried long ago?  I mean, look,” she said, thinking quickly.  “Even assuming you’re right, obviously the effects don’t last long at all.  Why on earth would I green you, knowing you wouldn’t have gotten far by the time my pheromones wore off and you’d just come back and – and do you have to be digging those claws of yours quite that far into my throat?” she ended miserably.

“Yes,” Selina hissed.

“Okay fair enough,” Ivy backpedaled.  “Um, okay ah, how about this,” she stalled, her mind racing for some explanation.  “YES!” she blurted as inspiration dawned, “if I could green women, don’t you think I would have greened Harley ages ago?”

     Selina thought about this for a moment.  Then she shook her head without relinquishing her grip.  “Sorry, Ivy, but it doesn’t wash.  I’ve heard the boys talk about what it’s like being ‘in the green’ shall we say, and what happened to me sounds almost exactly like that.”

“But, But-” was as far as Ivy got before the cold prick of a razor sharp claw under her left ear made her reconsider. 

“How ELSE do you explain what happened to me?” Selina asked viciously.  “Didn’t my behavior earlier strike you as – let’s call it atypical?”

     “No,” Ivy admitted.  She wasn’t one to see anything wrong in another person voicing their support and admiration.  Although, now that she thought about it, Selina’s views did sort of shift during their conversation, and pretty suddenly at that.  The explanation that made the most sense was that she’d somehow used her pheromones on Selina without meaning to.  But she couldn’t imagine how she could have possibly - “The herbs!” she realized.

     “What?”

     “I’ve been taking these herbs, they’ve increased the power of my pheromones,” Ivy explained.  “It’s possible that they’re allowing me to control women too.”

     “Okay,” Selina said, shrugging.  “Now that we've established what you did to me, I guess the beating can begin - ”

     “I didn’t mean it!” Ivy said, struggling now.  “I didn’t know!”

     “You expect me to believe you can’t control your own powers?”

     “Yes - well, normally no, but today yes!”

     Selina paused.  The remark was so typically Pammy – even (rightfully) afraid of what Selina might do to her, she could barely admit to any weakness - that a tiny part of her was almost ready to believe her.  “Okay,” she said.

     Ivy stopped moving.  “Okay?”

     “People are capable of behaving irrationally when they’re under the influence of drugs or other herbs,” Selina said in a tone that seemed mildly reasonable.  “So there is a slight chance you might be telling the truth and you didn’t know what you were doing.”

     “I didn’t - ”

     “So,” Selina cut off the interruption by tightening her grip once more, as if to say no, you’re not out of the woods just yet.  “Since there is a slight chance, instead of scratching up your face immediately, you and I are going to have a little talk with whoever sold you those herbs.  And if it turns out what you’re describing is possible, then we’ll see.”

     “But Selina, the contractors - I have to - they’re such men and - ”

     “Of course,” Selina added, “if you’re lying - well, you remember how long poor Harvey was in the hospital after he accidentally killed Ivan?”

     Pammy nodded.

     “Double that.”

     “Ivy never had the ability to green women in the past,” Bruce interrupted in that tone of his that said he was speaking of an unquestionable fact.

     “Well, I thought that too,” Selina replied, a little annoyed.  “But since there weren’t many other explanations for why I suddenly enjoyed her gift for gab, I think I can be forgiven for questioning if that was really true or not.  Do you mind if I continue?” 

     “In all the time Barbara was Batgirl,” he went on, “Ivy never tried to green her.  Myself, Dick, Tim, Jason - many times.  But never a woman, any woman.  If she was capable of affecting women all along, why would she hide it?  It would have kept her out of Arkham at least twice.”

     “Thank you, world’s greatest detective,” Selina said.

     Bruce nodded thoughtfully.  “I’m also intrigued by what little you remember about how Ivy’s pheromones affected you.  From what you’ve described, it sounds like you admired, even idolized her, but you didn’t mention any echoes of a sexual attraction.”  He stopped as a look of revulsion crossed Selina’s face.  “What?”

     “What?  You need to ask?  I’ve done a damn good job of ignoring that horrific possibility, thank you very much,  until you said that.  I’m sure I’ll have nightmares now, thanks,” Selina said darkly.

     “At any rate,” Bruce replied, "it’s interesting that even now that her powers work on women, she can’t affect you that way.  They must not be able to change a person’s sexual orientation.  In fact, it’s possible that homosexual males are equally immune.”

     “Bruce,” Selina sighed.  “I spent over an hour with Ivy tonight, and – much as you’re going to hate this – Pammy’s own speculations covered most of this same ground. So bottom line is I’m exhausted – not to mention sick of the subject.  If you’re not going to let me finish, then I’m going to bed.”

     Bruce grunted.  “Fine.  What happened at the - magic shop?”

     Selina smiled affectionately and kissed his cheek.

     “My poor baby, the M-word. And you got the word out on the first try.”

     “A magic store?” Selina asked doubtfully.  “I didn’t realize your taste in shopping extended beyond garden supplies.  Of course, after Aurora’s Pots, I guess anything’s possible.” 

     “She—” Ivy started to say, then squirmed a little in Selina’s grasp.  Her arm was really starting to hurt.  “She - the Bun Lady - she had a booth at that awful Scottish festival, the one where they tossed those poor defenseless trees about like they were playthings!  She sold me some herbs, and I noticed my powers seemed a lot stronger.”

     Selina nodded.  “That’s how you were able to make the trees attack, weren’t you?”  She shook her head and chuckled.  “Funny how you always wind up hurting the things you love, Pammy.  Those 'poor, defenseless trees' of yours weren’t really in that much trouble until you pitted them against a fire-breathing demon.”

     “I wasn’t the one who burned them up!” Pammy shot back.

     “Just like you weren’t the one who murdered Joker in front of Harley?” Selina asked gently.

     Ivy actually flinched, Selina noticed as she dragged her into the store.

     The bell over the door rang as they entered, and an older woman looked up from the counter.  She took one look at them, Selina in her purple and Ivy with her green skin, and reacted accordingly.  “Absolutely not, no,” she said, coming around the counter and waving her hands in the air.  “I knew it was probably a mistake doing business with you, and I am not about to get mixed up with every criminal in Gotham.”

     “Whoa, take it easy,” Selina said, her eyes taking in the store merchandise.  It was everything you’d expect from a magic shop - one part New Age crystals and herbal remedies, one part fortune teller, one part Herder’s Cutlery.  “I’m not here to buy, I’m just looking for information about something she says you sold her.”

     The shop owner looked her over.  “Well, I suppose that’s all right.  Although I don’t know why you can’t just ask her.”

     “Pammy here has a bit of a credibility problem,” Selina explained.  “She seems to think I’ll take her word for it when she says that you—”

     “Miriam,” the other woman said.

     Selina smiled.  “Miriam.  Seems to think I’ll take her word for it when she says you sold her herbs which made her use her powers without knowing it.”

     Miriam shook her head and sighed.  “How often have you been using those herbs?” she asked Ivy.

     “Not that often,” Ivy said vaguely.  “Once a day.  Maybe twice occasionally.”

     “Oh, is that all?” Miriam asked sarcastically. 

     “Is that bad?” Selina asked.

     “Well, it depends on how you define bad,” Miriam said.  “She’s basically overdosing on those herbs.  Sacred Glen, Dragon’s Blood Resin, and Flax Seed.  Dragon’s Blood in particular…they’re not narcotics, she won’t cause herself serious physical harm or anything.  But even if she doesn’t know it, by now her system is on overload.”

     “I am in the room, you know,” Ivy said crossly.

     “Fine,” Miriam replied.  “I’ll talk to you directly, but I’ll talk to you like a child, because I tried telling you this as an adult the last time, and look where you’ve ended up.”

     It was bad enough that Selina’s claws had her arm in a pincer grip since before they left the Lounge.  But to be spoken to with such disrespect!

     “She came in several days ago,” Miriam said to Selina.  “Since I don’t deal with that many green-skinned people – “

     “It’s alabaster,” Ivy corrected her.

     Miriam eyed her dubiously.  “If you really believe that, then I see what she means by a credibility problem.  Anyway, as I was saying, I recognized her by her skin tone.  I sold her some herbs at the Highland Games festival a few months ago.  At the time I didn’t realize she was Poison Ivy, I thought she was just some – ”

     “Renfest-natureloving-Wiccan oddball?” Selina suggested.

     “Not exactly the words I was going for, but you catch my meaning,” Miriam acknowledged.  “Anyway, she comes into my store, starts browsing like she has no idea what she’s looking for when I know exactly what she wants.  ‘Come off it,’ I said, ‘you want magic, what is it?’.  So she hems and haws for a bit before admitting she wants more of what I sold her the last time.”

     “And you sold it to her, knowing who she was?” Selina asked.

     “Well,” Miriam said, “I wasn’t keen on the notion, but the code of the shop is the customer gets what she wants.  I’ll make an exception if I get some kind of sign or omen that things will end badly, but that wasn’t the case here.”  She gave Ivy a stern look.  “I also warned you that these herbs weren’t something you took every morning like they were gingko biloba or something, but I guess that wasn’t something you wanted to hear, was it?”

     “She’s very good at not hearing that kind of thing,” Selina said.

     “Look, I’m not a magic expert,” Ivy complained.

     “Which is why you listen to the person who is,” Miriam said pointedly.  “If you’re going to go on using them indiscriminately, you’ll just have to get them from someplace else.  And certainly not if you’re going to bring more of your criminal friends back.”  She turned back to Selina.  “No offense, but when you came in with her, I thought she’d gone and run her mouth about me to every superpowered lawbreaker looking for a dime bag of mojo.”

     “So it IS possible that she’s been using her powers without intending to?” Selina asked.

     “It was her responsible for those trees coming to life at the Highland Games, wasn’t it?”

     Selina nodded.

     “Then I’m surprised every tree she’s passed hasn’t uprooted itself and followed her home like a stray puppy,” Miriam said.  “She’ll need to stop taking those herbs for at least a week before she gets all the Dragon’s Blood out of her system.  Then she needs to dial down the usage.  Otherwise magic will go on bleeding out of her pores until, most likely, she burns out and can never use her powers again.”

     Selina looked at Ivy.  “Well, wouldn’t that be too bad.”

     But Miriam’s last words, unlike everything else said, had gotten through to Ivy.  “I’ll…be more careful,” she mumbled.

     Reluctantly, Selina let go of her.

     “Now that that’s settled, is there anything you might be interested in?” Miriam asked Selina, suddenly all business.  “I have a Bast statuette from – ”

     “I think we’ll just be leaving.”    

     “I told you I didn’t do it on purpose,” Ivy said waspishly.  She was already thinking about how much slower all those lazy MEN must be working at the Rydbergii while she was away on this silly little –

     Selina frowned.  “Nothing said in there actually proves you’re telling the truth.  You could have known exactly what you were doing.”

     Ivy suddenly forgot about the renovations.  She’d stopped thinking Selina was going to hurt her, but it was starting to sound like the scratching post treatment was still a possibility…of course she COULD just green Selina and make her getaway…but it obviously didn’t take long for the effects to wear off.  How far could she really get?

     “Then again,” Selina said, "you are exactly the kind of person who would just assume she had a handle on her new powers without making sure.”

     That sounded quite a bit like an insult, Ivy thought, but it also seemed to be working in her favor here, so she bit her lip and said nothing.

     “Look Pammy, what Miriam said means you might be telling the truth, that’s all.  You’ve still got a credibility problem.  You have never in your life done anything that would lead someone to give you the benefit of the doubt.  Think about that some time.”

     Ivy continued to bite her lip - only harder.

     Selina sighed.  “But I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt anyway.  Don’t ask me why, maybe I just don’t want to clean sap out from under my claws.  Just remember - no more accidents next time our paths cross.  And be grateful I can’t remember any of the things I said to you earlier.  Otherwise I might not feel so forgiving.”

     Ivy bitterly reflected that she could still remember the things Selina said, and she’d liked them just fine.  Now that they were exposed as mere effects of greening, all the good feelings they had engendered now tasted like ash.  She’d always gloried in the praise men lavished on her when they were under her control.  Yet now she wanted Selina to say those things again, and really mean them.

     “So,” Ivy said, wondering why this was so important to her that she was admittedly pressing her luck, "are you sure you wouldn’t want to come back to the Rydbergii with me?  There are certain improvements that you really couldn’t have appreciated without having someone point them out to you.”

     Selina looked at her strangely.  “Er, I think I’ll pass, thanks anyway.”

     “I think you’ll like the ivy growing on the north wall.  It’s not quite thick enough yet, but when it’s ready it will be like a big blanket, and I’m going to set some blowers up that will create a really nice undulating effect.”

     “Ivy—”

     “Still, you’re an art thief, you’ve got a good eye.  What did you think of the place from what you saw of it?”

     “Pammy,” Selina said, suddenly understanding what she was fishing for.  “If you’re looking for validation, you’ve got the wrong person.  Better wait until Harley is released.”

     Ivy winced.  Evidently Selina had also forgotten everything Ivy said about Harley earlier, as well as her own reassuring comments.  Ivy didn’t feel like repeating why she didn’t expect Harley to be visiting her any time soon, for fear of turning into a sobbing wreck again - this time in public.  She looked down.  “Do you - do you still like my shoes?”

     “Excuse me?”

     “Earlier when - you know - you told me you liked my shoes. You even, um, suggested we go buy you a matching pair in black - I guess that’s off, huh?”

     Selina’s first instinct was a flat rejection, but she held back for a moment.  The questions were becoming - for Ivy - strikingly needy, even vulnerable.  Despite her earlier comment, Selina did remember a little of what was said at the Iceberg before her memories got hazy.  Ivy was basically embarking on a new and completely different career, and she was doing it alone.  It all made her seem more…human.  She looked at Ivy’s feet.

     “Yes, I like your shoes,” she finally said. “And no, we’re not going shopping together any time soon.”

     Just because she was willing to be a little nicer to Ivy didn’t mean she had to commit to spending another few hours with her.  Shoe shopping was supposed to be a pleasurable experience, after all.

     “Because I was thinking I need a new handbag to go with these,” Ivy told her.

     Selina chuckled and shook her head.  “Good night, Pammy.”

     “You going shopping with Ivy might not be such a bad idea,” Bruce suggested.  “You could keep an eye on her, gather information…"

     She looked at him as if he was speaking in Swahili.  “Sure,” she said finally.  “And if Joker was still alive, I’m sure he would have loved taking in a ballgame with his best pal Brucie.”

     “You said yourself that it’s probably not safe for me to get near her until I determine what extra measures I’ll need to protect myself from her new powers,” Bruce said reasonably.  “And since her abilities work on women now as well as men, Batgirl and Black Canary aren’t any better equipped than Nightwing or Robin to keep tabs on her.  Selina, you’re the only person I can trust that Ivy wouldn’t dare use her powers on.”

     “You’ve dealt with Poison Ivy enough times, I’m sure you think you know what you’re asking.  But you don’t.  Bruce, you know Poison Ivy, you don’t know Pammy.  You don’t know Pammy being ‘friendly.’  You don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”

     “I do have some idea, Kitten, honestly.  I also know that with Quinn in Arkham, Ivy is desperate for some human companionship.  If you give a little, it could yield a lot in return.  Maybe even the full story about Joker’s death.”

     Selina sighed.  “Desperate enough that if I do this, Ivy may well decide that we’ve been old friends all along and start visiting me…here!”

     “Selina, Catman was in my study the other day.  I don’t think these people need the excuse of your friendship to drop in.”

     She permitted herself a laugh.  “Well…maybe.  If only to reinforce the lesson I taught her.  But you owe me.  Again.  You already owed me for the Christmas party, remember?”

     “I do remember,” Bruce said hesitantly, “and there is a way I’ve been looking into to make it up to you.”

     “You have my attention,” Selina answered with a naughty grin.

     “With Joker gone forever, Cobblepot out of the game, Poison Ivy off my radar for the foreseeable future, and DEMON’s presence in Gotham eliminated entirely, for the time being anyway, Batman’s patrol duties are considerably shorter and the caseload considerably lighter,” he said.  “I was thinking of a new yacht, something less conspicuous than the typical fop boat.  Something small…for an occasional weekend cruise, just for two.  We could call it – the Gatta.”

     Selina caught her breath.  “A real weekend cruise?” she asked.  “Not a cover story about Bruce Wayne in Tahiti when you’re really down here defragging your hard drive?”

     “Well, I’d want to keep tabs on the city while we’re away,” he said, “but yes, a real getaway.”

     “Wow,” she said.  “I thought you hated leaving Gotham for anything as trivial as ‘fun.’”

     “I’m a little surprised myself, but Joker’s death…while regrettable and completely unacceptable, did bring – some benefits,” Bruce admitted.

     Selina nodded.  It couldn’t have been easy for him to say that good came of a man’s death, even Joker’s.  And this boat idea!  “Well, when you put it like that,” she said lightly, “shoe shopping with Ivy sounds almost bearable.  Almost.”

     To be continued…

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