Batman and Catwoman in Cat-Tales by Chris DeeCat-Tales 57: Not My Kink

Not My Kink

Week 5

       Ö Ö Ö Ö :: Duty Log: Catwoman :: Ö Ö Ö

Honey, Iím home!

Okay, itís night 4 and that little joke has run its course.  It is a whole new cave though, since heís been staying down here.  The crimefighting itself is just as weird, but going out at night when heís right there at workstation 1, itísÖ itís good.  Alfred is awfully grumpy with the dinner situation, but I really donít know what he expects.  Bruce is in the homestretch of his recovery, and heís a lot more mobile than he has been, but heís not going to trudge up those stairs every night just to eat in the dining room, and Iím certainly not going to eat up there alone.  Truth is, weíve got it quite cozy down here.  Although the bats are still pretty wary after my ďlessonĒ with the grapnel gun.  I definitely donít have the knack, but it was fun trying.  I canít remember when Iíve seen Bruce so lighthearted.  He says once heís back on the job, Iíll have to try it at least once in the city with an actual building to grapple.  Pigeons beware.

And then tonight, after dinner, I was just going to slip into the costume vault and change, but he said to wait.  Had me sit in his lap, and then he handed me this little purple pouch.  I could tell it was cut from the skewered costume, so it matches perfectly.  Inside were these 3 perfectly formed ďcatarangs.Ē  Purple (of course), shaped like my claws, and a priceless little paw print on the center joint.  I couldnít believe it.  I giggled like an idiot, and then I just stared at them, and then this bawdy laugh sort of bubbled out of me, and then, finally, I remembered how to use my tongue and managed to thank him.  ItísÖ

Cat break.  I had to get one out just to look at it again.  (Ref: Duty log: Catwoman, scan image-catarang.jpg, seal yes/no, encrypt yes/no)  Isnít it beautiful? 

He made it.  I never realized he made the first batarangs himself.  Iíve used Kittlemeier from day one for my things.  But this, he made it himself.  Batman did.  While I was out last night, probablyÖ  Batman, the judgmental jackassÖ  Sometimes itís still hard to wrap my brain around it.  I really donít deserve him.  I certainly donít deserve the way he spoils me.

The crimefighting was more of the same.  Well, to be fair, itís hardly ďcrimefightingĒ at this point.  Iím still on Alfred restrictions for another two nights, which barely qualifies as a prowl.  But just being able to go out at night is a pleasure.  After only three days of ďbed rest,Ē I was getting pretty restless.  Gave me a whole new appreciation for what Bruce is going through.  But anyway, to the extent that I am crimefighting again, it was more of the same.  Iím still keeping an eye on the meatpacking district.  Besides the fashion houses, there is a lot of money down there.  Nothing in my Museum Mile/Fifth Avenue cat-egory, but still, money.  Worth protecting.  STILL no overreaching amateurs at Cartier though.  It really doesnít seem fair.  I got run through by a freaking DEMON troll, Iím absolutely entitled to claw the stuffing out of one really annoying, unjustifiably arrogant nobody.  Woof. 

No Ivy either.  Iíve been keeping such a close eye on the park, itís safer than that bench outside One Police Plaza.  Iím starting to think she skipped town.  Maybe gone to see Harvey or something.  I had meant to stop in the Iceberg and see if anyoneís heard from her, but the time got away from me.  That would be Falconiís fault.  Just why the idiot wanted to go into COUNTERFEITING in this day and age, I canít even guess.  I mean, other than drug deals and black market kidneys, who pays in cash anymore?  It seems like it would be more trouble than its worth, getting enough counterfeit bills converted to the real stuff to justify the time and manpower involved.  But the rumors turned out to be true.  Somehow or other, Carmine got hold of a beautiful set of $100 plates.  Had them at his townhouse, which was not a challenge getting into or out of but I did pick up a tail during the getaway.  By the time I lost them, Iíd missed last call.  Fuckers.

Not having anything better to do, I checked the alley off Michigan, and Robin was still there keeping an eye on Parsel.  We finished up our chat about the Cassie situation.  I reiterated that jealousy rarely if ever gives the impression that you love someone; it gives the impression that you are insecure.  Then Parsel made his move and we broke off to follow and pummel, after which I concluded that insecurity is really not attractive.  Robin expressed a desire for more pummeling, and I said ďNo, school night,Ē and sent him to bed. 

Of course he wasnít going to go just because I said so.  I would have been spectacularly disappointed in him if he had.  The bat boys are stubborn, just like their mentor, itís part of their charm.  So I started playing with my new catarangs, and that brought him out of hiding.  After 14 repetitions of ďOh cool,Ē I suggested a zip through the park on his way home.  He thought I meant patrolling together.  That would be the addled crimefighter brain, junior edition at work.  As if Iím going to be seen traipsing around Gotham looking for bad guys to pummel with Batmanís sidekick in tow!  (Yes, I know, I helped him pummel P.  But Parsel is a bottomfeeder, and nobody is going to believe he even saw Robin or Catwoman, let alone both, and forget either of us stooping to acknowledge his existence if he did come into our field of vision.

Anyway, I let Robin chase me through the park.  He kept up quite well, although heís still not quite as good as he or the tabloids think he is.  I have no doubt that heíll get there one day, but for now, Batman is still first among crimefighters and there is no second.  Not to mention, with Batman, heís got the tightest ass in the western hemisphere, and the perfect concentration of muscle, especially in the chest and shoulders.  Just enough to be really strong without being too bulky, so you canít help but want to kiss all the way down those bulging biceps, dragging your teeth ever so lightly over the skin as you go.  Too bad he doesnít realize I can tell when heís reading over my shoulder that way, which is really quite silly since I already told him all about my night as soon as I came home.  That much maligned feline logic would say that if you already know what happened, there isnít any reason to be reading along as I type up the logs, but as long as youíve put a shot of Baileys in that hot chocolate, weíll call it even.
       Ö Ö Ö Ö :: Catwoman logout :: :: :: :: :: :: Ö Ö Ö

       Ö Ö Ö Ö :: Duty Log: Catwoman :: Ö Ö Ö
Mmm, that was nice.  Anyway, as I was saying before the interruption, the crimefighting itself is still pretty weird, but going out at nightóand the coming home, now that he is in the cave, itís so much different.  Completely different.  I could definitely get used to it.

The only real drawback is the dressing situation.  I donít mind keeping my costume in the vault, I did it before, for a short while, before Iíd even moved in.  But I canít bring myself to sleep nude in the open air of a cave.  I just canít.  I mean, itís a cave.  I know itís The Batcave, but stillóCAVE!  So Iíve commandeered his pajama tops, which are fine to sleep in, but he does get grabby in the morning when I just want to scoot up to the manor and get a shower.  Still, small price to pay.  Meow.
       Ö Ö Ö Ö :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: Ö Ö Ö

This short and sweet taste of life in the Batcave
is a Christmas present for Cat-Tales readers
who havenít had holiday tale for quite some time.
There will be developments in Week 6, to be sure,
but for now, peace and harmony reign in the cave.

Happy Holidays.

To be continuedÖ


Copyright | Privacy Policy | Cat-Tales by