Portrait: Oswald Cobblepot

Cat-Tales: Oswald Cobblepot
Oswald Cobblepot in the Iceberg Lounge

Oswald was becoming very, very worried.

It was one thing when three cocktail waitresses and a washroom attendant got all misty eyed and started impulsively hugging him. It was another thing entirely when women from that other side of the Iceberg’s operations began acting the very same way.

He had started the weekly meeting for snitches as he always did, handing out assignments for what the “word on the street” was to be for the next several days.

“Organization is the key-kwak!” he reminded them. “Otherwise, you’re putting Joker in six different parts of town Thursday night.”

That’s when he noticed Lexxi had that same look in her eye, just like Raven and Gina and Brenda, the one that came right before “Oh, Ozzy” and the hug!

“Ahem,” he quacked for attention (although no one had interrupted him). “As I was saying, organization is the key. It takes time to properly disseminate a rumor about something going down on the docks, and of course, not all Rogues are prompt about turning in their work orders.”

There was that look again. Lexxi had it, and so did Liza, and so did Magpie. Looking at him like a stuffed teddy bear, looking ready to “Oh, Ozzy” and the bearhug.

“Kwak! As I was saying, kwak-eh… Yes, with proper management, we can insure that the whole of Team Bat will show up or not to any given crime. Wouldn’t you know it, there are six crimes demanding immediate attention, all at least twenty blocks apart, that kind of thing–kwak! But we can’t have Mr. Freeze showing up at 9:30 saying ‘I need Batman at my warehouse at midnight.’ IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, MISS GIANELLI?!”

“Your nose, Mr. Cobblepot, it’s just so… adorable!”

Worried. Oswald Cobblepot was becoming very, very worried.
Napoleon’s Plan

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